Bed Attachment Is Real and Here's What You Need To Know

There are two things that have gotten me through this year’s winter vortex:  1) the Queer Eye Reboot on Netflix and 2) My new and insanely comfy Endy mattress.  Both of which is chock full of Canadian pride and toasty feelings. (I love you, Antoni!)

Admittedly, I’ve spent a lot of time in bed the past three months, more so than usual, and some may argue that the amount of time I’ve spent has been mildly alarming. (Hi, dad!)  Listen, in my defence it’s hard to beat the warm, comforting feeling you get from being wrapped up in your own life sized cocoon in sub zero temps.

If Miss Rolling’s can get away with living her life in bed in every scene in the 1986 musical True Stories, then damn it I can too!

As I was laying in bed the other night with my TV on, a bowl of cereal beside me, and laptop on my lap, I thought to myself, is there such thing as bed attachment?  If so, am I the only one who’s a proud victim of it?

I connected with my friend who’s also a Clinical Therapist and Co-Founder of The Shift Collab, Megan Rafuse, to download her expertise on the matter.  According to Megan, there are several reasons why millennials in particular are “spending more time bonding with their mattresses than their mates.”  Yikes!

If you find yourself doing a lot more than sleeping in your bed, the following reasons offered by Meg might shed some insight.

Miss. Rollins in True Stories

Miss. Rollings in True Stories courtesy of


    1. Poor sleep hygiene.

According to Meg, sleep hygiene is a term that describes the activities we engage in that either prepare our brain to shut off or keep it running.  You know, the texting, the scrolling, the Netflixing. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been down all of those roads one too many nights.

“If you imagine a pot of water set on the stove to boil, you need the heat of the burner to warm the pot, the steam to build up within the pot and only then will the water start to boil. You know that if you remove the cover before you reach the boiling point, you are going to allow the steam to escape, and you will inevitably slow the process. Our brain works the same way when it comes to sleep. We need to do things to warm up the metaphorical pot. These things include exercising, social connection, working, etc. We also need to limit the things that force the cover to come off. Things like naps, excessive caffeine consumption, and using screen time within an hour before bed all slow our progress towards the sleepy dreamland we all crave so badly,” said Megan.

    2.  Higher unemployment rates for millennials.

Our beds are our safe zones and a place of certainty in a world full of noise and distractions.  When we’re dealing with our daily stresses like job security for millennials, Meg says our beds are a natural escape.

Stats Canada tells us that the unemployment rate for millenials is almost double that of the general population which means that millenials are struggling to find stable and meaningful employment. Many are working multiple side hustles or extra jobs, resulting in decreased predictability in income, increased stress, and unstable living conditions….With higher unemployment rates we are not only less stable, but more stressed. Stress, like other mental health challenges, is constant, and so many of us are just looking for an escape. The best escape? Unconsciousness.  Our beds are also a place we associate with release. Release from our problems, release from our stresses. Harsh realities have a harder time reaching us beneath our fluffy duvets when we aren’t awake to greet them,” said Megan.

    3.  Smaller living spaces (or living with our parents).

The cost of living continues to soar in major cities like Toronto, Vancouver and New York, and finding a spacious living space for a decent price is next to impossible.  When we find ourselves in the confines of a small space, we also find ourselves with less furniture. 

“This means that for many of us, our beds are more than just a sleeping space. They’re also our sofas, where our friends sit when they visit, our offices; where we answer emails and our vanities, where we do our makeup. Our brains are amazing at using contextual cues to help us with different tasks, but when you send mixed signals to your brain, it can cause it to act against you, making those tasks harder. When we use the space we sleep as a work space as well, when you lie down at the end of the day, instead of quieting your mind and releasing chemicals to help you fall asleep, your brain will try and wake you up and prepare you to work…Your bed should be used for two things only- sleep and sex.” said Megan.

Thank you so much for your insight, Megan!

I can certainly relate to points 1 & 2!  What about you?  Comment below and let us know which category speaks to you. 🙂



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